There’s two things that really bother me on a hot day, riding in cars and watching the movie Riding In Cars With Boys. When I’m faced with the possibility of doing either of these gruesome tasks, the impending rock, paper, scissors battle takes on crucial importance. If I can somehow land a scissors over paper, I’ll get the front seat or if I correctly choose rock to topple a scissors, I can instead watch one of the latest thrilling Madea installments. I had better take advantage of these wins while I can because as we speak, robots are being developed to conquer the rock, paper, scissors playing field.

Personally, I think scientists’ time would better be utilized constructing robots that can blow up meteors hurling at Earth or developing synthesized breath to beat a breathalyzer but I don’t sign the research grants. Currently, two automated forms are being researched and designed to put rock paper scissors robots on top of childhood gaming world – The Rock, Paper, Scissors Analyzer and the Rock Paper Scissors Robot.

Humans are a random being, just look at some of the wacky spontaneous things we do such as green light the movie Riding In Cars With Boys to be filmed. As it turns out, even our randomness can be calculated as proven by the Rock Paper Scissors Analyzer. This is a computerized game where you play repeated games of RPS against an electronic opponent and each move of yours is calculated, analyzed, and stored for strategy. While you might gain an edge the first 10 or 20 throws, even your randomness will then be taken into account and the computer will ultimately have the edge. I never had the patience to play out more than 15 matches but remember to think twice if a computer ever asks you to go “Best of 1,500?”RPS Analyzer

Rock Paper Scissors RoBot

While the RPS Analyzer could be attributed to luck more than strategy, the RPS Bot cheats worse than Lance Armstrong in a bike race. As humans are forming the different variations of a rock or a scissors with their hands, this computer analyzes the distinct muscle movements of your fingers and changes its throw within milliseconds. Even if you tried to cheat it by changing at the last possible second, the human brain cannot even begin to comprehended the placement in .001 of the time it takes the computer. As evidence, the winning percentage of the bot is in the 99th percentile. Of course you could always cover your throwing hand but that’s not legal in a International RPS Federation sanctioned match…(if there is such a thing.)

The Future

Besides producing these bots for human consumption so that front row seat rides are guaranteed for life, I could see the Rock Paper Scissors Bot being developed for hand-to-hand combat in the future. If a robot can read the simple muscle movements in a hand ready to throw down an imaginary scissors, imagine how quickly it could react when the opposition aims to throw a haymaker or a scissors kick. I know one thing, I’d never want to be captured by one of these bots and put through cruel and usual interrogation…like being forced to watch Riding In Cars With Boys over and over and over and over….